Time out for parent carers

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Unpaid parent carers can often feel isolated and stressed with limited opportunities to take any time for themselves. The Short Breaks Scheme is offering some much-needed respite to parents caring for disabled children and those with additional needs.

Kate Cubbage, Director Carers Trust Wales says, “In Wales, we have a higher percentage of unpaid carers than other parts of the UK. Parents can be less likely than others to recognise and identify themselves as a carer. Many are exhausted, stressed and struggling with their own well-being – both physically and mentally.

The Short Breaks Scheme,  coordinated by Carers Trust Wales, can help parents to take some vital time for themselves. It also offers some recognition for all that they do and the invaluable role they play.

Juggling the struggle


Many parent carers have little time to switch-off from their caring role. They may be unable to do even the little things that can help with those difficult days, like exercising, meeting with friends or just going for a walk. Many feel they have no option but to work part-time or even give up their jobs, leading to increased financial pressures and a sense of isolation. A parent carer may also have multiple roles to juggle, perhaps working, looking after a disabled child and supporting an elderly parent at the same time. All of this is bound to negatively impact a carer and they may struggle with poor physical and mental health.

Importance of a short break


It’s vitally important that parent carers prioritise some time for themselves, to recharge their batteries and to build up resilience that will also help them carry on with their daily caring roles. As one parent carer who took part in the Short Breaks Scheme with Campfire Cymru says, ‘The biggest thing I am learning is to give myself permission to recharge and deal with the mum guilt.'

It really does benefit everybody, having some time alone from caring, as it is such hard work.

Taking a short break doesn’t have to mean a weekend away, it could just be a night away, a well-being voucher or a group visit to a local garden or activity centre. A short break like this is just as valuable and potentially more accessible for some parents who can’t leave their child or family for long.

Recognition


Parent carers who have taken such a break through the Short Break Scheme, report back that they have increased optimism, feel less anxious and isolated and are ready to go back to face the demands of daily life. They also say that they feel valued and heard.

One such parent carer who benefited from a short break in the form of a well-being voucher agrees. Their son has been preparing for a kidney transplant for the last couple of years, and the situation has been very difficult. They say, “The well-being vouchers were a wonderful little surprise for me. It meant my full-time caring role for my son was valued and recognised. It showed how difficult and emotionally draining caring for your child can be, and that treating yourself is allowed and necessary too! It also highlighted the need for self-care which I honestly don't prioritise while putting my son's needs first and foremost. I can't thank Kidney Wales and the Short Breaks Scheme enough for spreading joy and making me and other carers happy.”

Peer support


Taking a short break not only helps to build resilience but it also allows parent carers to meet others going through similar situations and feel less isolated.

A parent carer who took part in some of the short breaks activities organised by one of our delivery partners, DAFFODILS, tells us, ‘Overall, our home environment is happy, but it’s stressful juggling everyone’s needs. I had to give up work due to childcare issues, which has had a financial impact on our finances. Challenges faced daily are juggling the needs of son with ASD, our older son who struggles and Dad who has ADHD. We don’t have any childcare except for ourselves, so meeting other parent carers like us is amazing.

‘It has allowed us to have experiences as a family that we may not have had the confidence to try otherwise. Being with families just like ours is so refreshing. No judgement, just help and understanding. We love attending DAFFODILS; to see [our son] always happy and how he finds a way of overcoming situations is amazing. We feel as a family totally supported, having made friends with others who also have children with additional needs. DAFFODILS have enabled us as a family to access things we wouldn’t have otherwise been able to.”

Another parent carer who has accessed a series of short breaks activities through DAFFODILS says that getting away from the day-to-day challenges has improved her wellbeing. As a single parent of four children, three with additional learning needs, she also really benefits from the peer support she gets from other parent carers and feels more able to continue with her caring role. She explains, “Being around like-minded carers really does help with my mental health and I have made lifelong friends in DAFFODILS. Knowing we have access to such a well-run and organised programme of short breaks has meant the world to me. I don’t feel isolated but part of a wonderful family!

A helping hand


Being a parent is hard enough; being a parent carer can sometimes feel like a daily battle, one that may continue for life. However, it is also rewarding and brings with it many moments of pride and happiness. A short break can hopefully play a small part in helping parents to get through the daily struggle and continue with the incredible work they do in supporting and caring for their children.

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