Having a short break from your caring role doesn’t necessarily mean a break away from those you care for. It’s often about being able to spend time out together and step out of the daily routine of being a carer.
DAFFODILS tells us, “Spending quality time together with their cared for loved ones and creating lasting memories is so worthwhile for our parent carers. Families feel understood and valued. The breaks relieve a lot of stress for the carers from their caregiving duties, allowing them to relax and recharge. The opportunities for them to interact with other parent carers, share experiences and build supportive relationships is life changing.”
DAFFODILS ‘enjoy a break’ project has supported unpaid parent carers in Flintshire to enjoy a wide variety of breaks, mainly during the school and college holidays, when carers most need support. Activities, some local, some further afield, have been organised to Chester Zoo, Caernarfon Castle, Greenwood Forest Park and Xplore, among others.
Emma*, mother of four, is the primary caregiver for her eight-year-old guardian grandson, who has a genetic disorder and requires constant supervision. Her days are filled with managing his needs as well as looking after her 22-year-old neuro divergent son, teenage daughter and 26-year-old daughter with moderate learning difficulties. As a single parent, she has very little time for herself.
Over the years, the strain of caregiving has taken a toll on her physical and mental health, leading to fatigue, anxiety, and bouts of depression, exacerbating her medical conditions. Life is very challenging and Emma worries about the future for her children and grandson if anything were to happen to her.
DAFFODILS offered her the opportunity to take several short breaks and wellbeing and get-together events over the course of six months, through the ‘enjoy a break’ programme. The breaks not only improved her physical and mental wellbeing but also helped her develop resilience to continue in her caregiving role.
“I didn’t realise how much I was running on empty until I finally had a chance to slow down”, Emma says. The time on the short break excursions allowed her to reflect on her caregiving role and how she could better manage the demands moving forward. Her anxiety, which had been building over the years, has reduced. She realised that to sustain her caregiving relationship, it was great to be involved on a weekly basis in the holidays, spending time with such a supportive group of people in similar situations.
By having quality family time in shared positive experiences, Emma is able to better manage the stresses of caring for them, while maintaining a healthier balance in her own life. She feels re-energized and has gained a renewed sense of perspective, explaining that she has more patience, more energy, a clearer mind, less stress and doesn’t feel so overwhelmed and trapped by the routine. She has noticed an improvement in her relationship with her grandson and feels more emotionally available to his needs.
Vitally, the short breaks have allowed her to reconnect with her children and grandchild as a family unit, rather than solely as a caregiver:
I was able to laugh and play with them again, not just manage them. They all need me to be happy and healthy too.
Another carer shares her story: “I am a parent carer, and while my son, who has autism and ADHD, is now 24, I am still very much his mum, guardian and companion. For many years, I did not consider myself a carer and refused respite when our son was little. It was my duty to take care of all my children, and this was our neurodiverse family.
“DAFFODILS made it possible for me to socialise with other parents and see that while daily chores of medication preparation, the extra washing, attending assessment appointments, even applying on his behalf for benefits, and never being able to leave our son unsupervised were the same for others too, and that needing a break was not selfish but necessary."
“With Short Breaks funding, DAFFODILS made it possible for me to take a break from caring. Attending a day out that had been planned and organised took away all the worry, and going as a group gave me the confidence to relax. They made me feel welcome, and the staff were excellent with our son. Being able to enjoy a day out together made such happy memories. Seeing him delighted in the activities offered and having the self-confidence to join in was terrific. We still talk about our trips and they have improved our relationship.
When we have a difficult period, we can reflect on the photos we took and recall better times.
“Financially made possible, thanks to the Welsh Government and Carers Trust, I now understand the value of taking a break. It strengthened me and prepared me to approach our challenges with renewed vigour improving my overall wellbeing. Our day trips were the best we had had for a long time, made all the better with the organisation from DAFFODILS and approachable kind staff.
“I made new friends who continue to support me and who I can turn to when I need a shoulder to lean on. I carry woes and worries about what the future might hold for my son and me, but having people to talk to and, optimistically, next year potentially more trips to look forward to, gives me hope for more fun and laughter.
Daily life will always be a struggle for us, and at times, it's hard to see the glimmer of light in the dark. DAFFODILS with Short Breaks funding makes the light shine bright, keeping us moving forward and spending quality time together. Thank you.
*Names of carers are changed to protect privacy